College Education Is Not For Everyone?

I just read this article about whether or not college is for everyone:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2010-03-16-1Acollegeforall16_CV_N.htm

Personally, I grew knowing (I was quite sure) that college was the only way to succeed in life. I spent a large chuck on my life getting an education, and I knew that I was doing the absolute right thing.

During my college years, I fell in love my husband. He had no desire to go to college-he told me that he knew it would be a waste of time and money for him. He told me that he knew kids that probably weren't cut out for college and spent large amounts of money for a degree that they never achieved. Now we own a successful plumbing business and he has a masters license and has achieved his dream.

Then there's me. I remember taking an IQ test and being told that I had the same IQ as Oprah. So, where's my talk show and my billion dollars? Actually, I really don't care about the money. The truth is, I have been bothered by my lack of accomplishment ever since I was watching Oprah the other day. She had a show about amazing people and she said, "I always felt that I would do something great." I always believe that I would, too. We have the same IQ and grew up with the same feeling about ourselves-we're also both African-American women. What happened to me? Lately, I've felt like the most successful thing I accomplish during the week is finishing the laundry.

The other day my sister brought me some stuff from my childhood. Occasionally, when my dad is cleaning out the crawl space, he randomly dumps old stuff of mine at my house that I don't want. (He's probably laughing as he reads that.) This time my sister brought a story that I wrote in 1991. I ignored it for a while, but the other day I picked it up during some down time. As I read it, I realized that I was actually a better writer at the age of 13 than I am now. My ideas for the story were definitely immature, but they were written really well. It got me thinking that maybe there is something that I can do and take care of kids at the same time. Maybe writing can help me to feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment outside of my children.

So, I'm trying to be optimistic again. I'm starting up another blog. This blog is for cathartic purposes and the other blog is more for future job purposes. I'll reveal that one as it gets closer to being finished. Best wishes as you discover what you were meant to do!

A quote I just read on USA Today:

"We must learn to honor excellence in every socially accepted human activity, however humble the activity, and to scorn shoddiness, however exalted the activity. An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher. The society that scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water."
--John Gardner, "Excellence"

Beautiful Is Looking Like Everyone Else?

The Oprah show had a special report entitled Beauty Around the World. I found it very disturbing and just had to react to it.

Part of the show was about how western (aka. American) culture has influenced the rest of the world. Just 40 years ago Chinese women were forced to dress like men and makeup was outlawed. Now, I guess the beauty industry in booming in China. The editor of Vogue, Chinese edition, said that when a new trend is shown in the magazine, they have to explain where the trend came from and why it is popular. Things we take for granted like nylons are even new to many women in China. (And why would anyone intentionally want to embrace that tradition?)

The part that disturbs me the most is that companies are showing the Chinese women what is popular so they can sell their products. They aren't using Asian models. Companies are selling the same look that they sell over here. That just is preparing a new generation to want to look like someone else. How is that good?

For example, Chinese women are having thousands of eyelid surgeries to make their eyes westernized so that they can, in turn wear trendy eye makeup. I think that Chinese beauty needs to be promoted to Chinese women. Encouraging women to look more western so you can sell more eye makeup is SO wrong on so many levels. We need to love what God has blessed us with and not want to look like someone from a country far away.

As an African American woman, I have seen the self-doubt that is produced by living in a society that valves a beauty different than your own. African American women aren't changing their eyelids-they are paying way too much money to change their hair so that they can have the hair styles that are shown on the popular models. I think that embracing ones own natural beauty is the first step towards embracing who you truly are.

I am always trying to tell my girls how beautiful they are. I know that they have a unique look because they are a mix of races. I'm just not sure if I'm winning the battle against popular culture. At least one person a week tells me that Elena could be a model, but she still wishes that she could have blond hair or green eyes like her daddy. I'm trying to figure out how I can make her realize that God made her perfect just the way she is. I'd gladly take any suggestions.

I just think that there is SO much more that we can instill in our girls than vanity. How about character and integrity? We could even mix in a little fiscal responsibility. That reminds me: I was in the toy aisle at Target and I saw that a lot of the dolls were pushing an empty fashionable coolness. I guess a Helen Keller doll wouldn't sell very well next to all of those fancy dolls out there. I guess it's hard to "sell" character in a toy.

I could go on forever on this subject, so I'm going to end here. This is just a subject that touches my heart. Feel free to comment! I enjoy listening to other opinions.

Who Am I?

Today is not so much focused on my kids as it is focused on the mother of my kids. ( I don't even refer to myself by name anymore.) You see, I seem to have lost some of my own identity on the motherhood journey.

Today Mark and I took the older 3 kids bowling. (When you can take your older 3 kids somewhere, that means you have a LOT of kids.) I digress.... We took the kids bowling and I was having fun and dancing to the music at the bowling alley--normal bowling alley stuff. Elena was giggling and she said, "Wow, you're in a good mood!" I got thinking about that comment. My first thought was I'm always in a good mood. Then I thought Apparently, I'm not always in a good mood if she made a comment. Then I remembered back to before having kids I USED to always be in a good mood. I guess I'm all about business a lot of the time. It's hard watching 4 kids and doing a mountain of business paperwork and taking care of the house. Maybe I don't have TIME to be in a good mood anymore. Then I remembered what one mom in MOPS said on Wednesday. I'm the box that the baby came in.

Allow me to explain: On Wednesday Lisa, one of my mom friends from MOPS said that we as moms sometimes treat ourselves as "the box that the baby came in." When I go out I always make sure that my kids look good and presentable. They have their hair brushed (I swear Christina's hair doesn't like that in the morning), nice clothes, and are taken care of. Me? Not so much. I go to the grocery store and the bank all of the time in my half pajamas--hoping the whole time that I don't run into my mother. (She would probably pinch me....) As my friend Lisa said, I treat myself as the box the baby came in. Like I am just a glorified caretaker. Just a chauffeur for those adorable children.

I guess that's why I'm blogging. This is an attempt to remember what I once was--and what I used to love to do. I remember when I wanted to be a writer. Then I also wanted to work on the Spanish language. I just love languages. Somewhere along the way I became an unpaid daycare worker and bookkeeper. Neither job is really too glorious. They are, however, necessary. I want to remember the day when my life was so full of promise. I just have to figure out how that fits in with my family. That could take a lot of time to ponder.

I feel much better now. My rant is done and now I have to finish filing all of my year end reports. Adios.